@ch000ch

would love to see a prequel to Titanic where we see Jack completely unable to climb onto a floating pool toy and we all go “ahh makes sense”

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@Parker_Simpson

Took a screenshot with my iPhone with the intention of texting a picture of my cracked screen.So the answer is no I didn’t graduate college.

@TheTweetOfGod

When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you’ve been using Apple Maps.

@JerkVening

Remembering the evil paraglider today. Wondering how he’s faring in all this.

@MariyaAlexander

Wearing my lesbian boots today. Well, they’re faux lesbian. I don’t believe in using lesbians for leather, even if they’re farm-raised.

@BrucioMcCulloch

I DO love to rush breathlessly into Starbucks and scream “Is anyone in here writing a screen play? We need one! This is an emergency!”

@77StephanieG77

I just learned that embalmers insert butt plugs into corpses to prevent leakage….

So now I know why zombies walk like they do.

@MarieLoerzel

Sorry, I called you by accident. I was actually just trying to delete your number from my phone.