“Sorry, are you…?”
“Oh… no! No, I’m not, sorry…”
“Ah! That’s ok, haha, thanks, sorry”
Transcript of a Brit asking another Brit if they’re in the queue
*wraps bacon in bacon wrapped bacon*
You Might Also Like
Life is short. Take risks. Run with scissors. Dance with scissors like nobody’s watching. Stop waiting for tomorrow to do cool shit with scissors.
I wouldn’t mind getting arrested today because I’m having a great hair day and my mug shot would be fabulous.
Walking around Houston airport taking iPads from unattended kids. I have 4 so far.
Me when I’m high: I’ll take seven burritos.
Me when I’m not high: I’ll take seven burritos.
Feeling adventurous? When your wife calls you, text her “He’s busy” and then switch off the cellphone.
What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
*lawyer pops out of cake with divorce papers & pen in hand
Instead of accusing me of eating your leftover pie, ask yourself why you had any left to begin with, quitter
*said thru a mouthful of pie*
Shout out to school music teachers everywhere who made a choice in life to get trapped in a room with 25 kids learning to play the recorder.