Not to brag but I can produce cute children. DNA and all.
Writer: So this movie is about a little girl and her dog and…
Disney: Her parents die. Brilliant.
Disney: Just her mom?
Disney: Her dad?
Disney: So then who dies? The girl? The dog?
Writer: Nobody dies!
Disney: Get out.
You Might Also Like
My oldest is 14 today. Daddy’s baby is growing up. Soon she’ll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards.
I thought it would be good for the environment if I had less grass to waste water on so I put a pool in.
I hate it when people say “Oh, I’m a vegetarian except for fish”.
Yeah? And I’m a non-smoker except for cigarettes. #WorldVeganDay
help my (23M) fireflies (10,000) have unionized against me
My main goal in life is to become a cooking show judge
Mostly because I like to criticize people while I eat
Organic milk only comes from cows that do yoga and moo about being a vegetarian or marathons they were in.
It took me 20 minutes and a terribly bruised wrist to realize that this slap bracelet is actually a ruler.
I just saw an article titled “Can We build a Real Jurassic Park?”
DID YOU FORGET WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MOVIE?!
ONLY text me in an emergency. Like my car’s shooting flames from the trunk, one of my exes dies eventfully, or if someone thinks I’m sexy.