Writes “He owed me $50” in funeral guest book.

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Jesus said that he’d get rid of evil people, whereas Norse gods said they’d get rid of frost giants. nnI don’t see many frost giants around.


The right response to “I’m a bit tied up at the moment” isn’t “what are you wearing?”



I’m calling them Accused Murder Hornets until I hear their side the story.


I tried to explain Twitter to my Mom and she said, “Sounds like group therapy where no one ever gets better”.


“The toilet’s blocked pretty bad so I called the plumber. Should be here later tod-”
[Bowser spits coffee]
“Which plumber?”