@MensHumor: WTF IS THAT!
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@clichedout: HER: I love the movie The Shining ME: [trying to impress] same HER: what's ur favorite part ME: [sweating] when it starts to shine
@markydoodoo: I stab myself a little bit every day to slowly build up an immunity to being stabbed to death.
@GrumpyComments: By the time you finish reading this tweet, you will be slightly closer to death than you were before. I hope it was worth it.