@JohnLyonTweets: Yelling at me for warming towels in the oven is not going to get the fire department here any faster.
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@Megatronic13: Me: sshhhhh, the house is right there *loading shotgun* Realtor: *steps on a twig that snaps loudly* House: *picks up garage and runs into the forest* Me: for a realtor, you really suck at house hunting
@slimmy_shady: Therapist: When you look in the mirror, what do you see?Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree