@JohnLyonTweets: Yelling at me for warming towels in the oven is not going to get the fire department here any faster.
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@thatstings: *Submits synonymosaur as an alternate word for thesaurus *Waits for Nobel Peace Prize
@RoosterMustache: DATE: *gets in car* ME: hi *starts driving* DATE: how's it going? ME: first, gas is sparked in the combustion chamber to push the pistons
@robfee: While a gun does make for a cool weapon on The Walking Dead, the most effective defense against the zombies is probably lightly jogging?
@Storminika: My mom keeps asking questions like 'When you gonna be famous?' I tell her, 'As soon as they find the bodies.'