@marybethbarone: yes, I did pass these out on my last family vacation.
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@tsm560: I just might be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Providing everything that’s happened to you thus far has been really really bad.
@AndyAsAdjective: KID IN THE BACKSEAT: how much longer do we have to drive? BON JOVI DAD: oh…we're halfway there…
@Steven37366100: Banker: So, you’d like a loan, to start an all marsupial fighting championship? Me: Yes. I call it Mortal Wombat. Banker: Me: Banker: I’m in.
@RegularFred: I was banned from guitar class because of an inappropriate reaction to "let's practice your fingering technique"