@SnarkyMommy78: Yes, I sure did let my 3yo eat a popsicle at 7:53am so that I could drink my coffee in peace. It’s called self-care.
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@BigBagOfScum: All my Facebook friends are starting to have kids. Better deactivate my acct. before they try to guilt me into liking pics of their aliens.
@elfy_scott: This Tik Tok video of a kid eating a huge burger while an entire restaurant increasingly loses their shit is the only thing bringing me base human joy rn.
@JP_theAntiHero: Dude turned from the ATM and tripped sending about eight 20s flying into my face. I teared up a little. I get strippers, I get it.