@Oshungurl: You agree to sound convincing when you lie about changing and I agree to believe you. Formalities over, let's get this relationship started.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@david8hughes: Juror: we find the defendant guilty Me: objection your honour! U already asked me if I was guilty & I told u I wasn't Judge: he has a point
@gerryhatric: A man was arrested on Brighton beach today for throwing pebbles at the sea birds. He was accused of having left no tern unstoned.
@TheDailySchmuck: First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
@JimGaffigan: GOALS FOR MORNING: Run Clean up Hang w/ kids Workout Write Get organized Respond to emails Return calls SO FAR: Wrote this About to nap