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@_steamy_mac: You are my sunshine.
In the sense that long term exposure to you is slowly killing me.
@DanKCharnley: If you have a flip-phone, you are probably an undercover cop.
@Donna_McCoy: Rules for a happy marriage:
3. Separate bank accounts
2. Separate data plans
1. Separate bathrooms
@dafloydsta: *stares into distance*
Distance: Please stop staring. It's rude.
@Adam_Kingsnorth: Why do they say "character actress"? Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture?
@Playing_Dad: Body: *sharp abdominal pain*
Me: Oh, God. Is that cancer? I bet it's cancer.
Body: Are you gonna go to the doctor? If you're worried it's cancer let's go get it checked out.
Me: No, I'm good.