I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.
…because I don’t have time to get arrested today.
You can buy my cassette series “Yelling : Greatest Hits”
Including classics such as:
– What the Hell?
– What the heck? (Radio edit)
– Oh come on!
And the chart topping hit:
– Yo…hey yo! Over here! No, over here to your left!
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Just saw an old lady give up her seat to another old lady on the subway…polite or the ultimate shade?
Is your refrigerator running?
Because I might vote for it.
Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill
Do it with mashed potatoes, then play keyboard for the aliens
… I think my cough medicine expired
Car salesmen: Good evening
Me: TAKE IT EASY PAL I’M JUST LOOKING AROUND
Taking your shirt off when fighting is a great way to tell the cops who to arrest.
*walks into funeral while playing the mandolin*
“I’m sorry. Am I interrupting?”
*dead guy sits up in casket*
No it sounds lovely. Keep going
This is probably going to sound really gay, but the sunset is GORGEOUS right now and I love making out with dudes.
I will piledrive the next kid who puts on a shitty movie then leaves the room.
My kid just said his dinner tasted like cat litter.
Not sure if I should be offended or wonder how he knows what cat litter tastes like.