The Teen Choice Awards has to be the most legit award show because teens always make the best choices.
You can count on your dog to be the first responder when anything or anyone drops to the floor.
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Me:*screaming in horror in the bathroom*
Him:*banging on door* Are you ok? WTF is going on?
M:I found a gray hair!
M:IN MY EYEBROW!!
Kid: WAAAHH! MY TOY IS BROKEN!!
Dad: Nothing a little duct tape won’t fix…
If Sherlock is such a great detective why does it take him 90min to solve a crime when CSI detectives do it in an hour minus commercials??
I was sitting there getting my hair cut, when a spider ran across the floor.
And that’s how you accidentally get bangs.
[Running away from home]
Me: I didn’t even know houses could run this fast!
I save a lot of money on all my tooth extractions by engaging in street fights..
Please stop throwing my only possession.
Nobody ever sneezes in movies.
NEVER LET THE PUBLIC NAME STUFF.