Angel: okay, this one?
God: it’s black, so black bean
A: and this?
G: lol that looks like a kidney— kidney bean!
A: k, and this one?
G (giggling): GARBANZOOOOOoooooo!!
A: … dude, you alright?
You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning.
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“ARGHH A HOUSE SPIDER”
[spider removes earbuds]
“yah actually im more into ambient trance but whatever”
Roommate: hey blake I just bought this whiskey wanna explain why it’s half empty?
Me: cause you’re a pessimist!
Anything u say can & will be used against u, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I’m a woman. And, we never forget. Anything. Ever.
HER: i’m really into astronomy
ME: [revealing my secret stash of Milky Ways] you don’t say
in high school our gym teacher asked us who we thought the smartest teacher in the school was. we guessed the AP chem teacher, the precalc teacher, the AP physics teacher, etc. he goes, nope, it’s me because I get paid the same as those guys and I play dodgeball all day.
I have a devil tattooed on each shoulder cause I hate arguments.
If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn’t start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I’m going to be so pissed.
more like Clifford the Big Red Reason we are Homeless
Me: What sneakers are you wearing?
Me: Omg Sandra, that’s what I’m trying to do.