@BritXNic: You can tell a lot about a man by the way he calls off the wedding and starts dating your brother.
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@ObscureGent: News Reporter: ...and once again Spider-Man saves the day. This city would be nothing without our amazing hero. Drunk Radioactive spider: *throws bottle at TV* I MADE HIM!!!
@stevevsninjas: One time I stepped on a sea urchin and I forgot all about the migraine I was having, so yeah, I'd say acupuncture is pretty effective.
@Roxtalled: Boss: Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact? Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.