Card Reader: Would you like to donate $1.00 to Charity X? ? Y ? N
CR: Are u a selfish prick? ? Y ? N
You don’t know how to properly recycle cardboard? Let me break it down for you
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[Turns to stranger at McDonald’s]
So what you gonna get?
“MAKE GOOD CHOICES!!”, I screamed from inside the cop car
*slides a cheese slice with my number written on it in your pocket*
7: I wanna watch a movie
Me: its late, sleep
7: I WANNA WATCH A MOVIE
M: fine *puts in Texas Chainsaw Massacre* goodnight you little shit
If I have learned anything in life it’s don’t throw away your fat clothes
What is “Fine”
I’ll take passive-aggressive responses for $800, Alex…
If only ISIS had kidnapped Liam Neeson’s daughter, none of this would be an issue.
Him: What’s that, Boy? Timmy fell down the well?
Lassie: Well I said “reservoir,” but if you need it dumbed down for you, sure.
Them: I’ve got athlete’s foot
Cop: wh-where’s the rest of the body