@Storminika: You ever lied so much on a resume, you're actually shocked that they gave you the job? I mean look at me, do I look like an astronaut?
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@TravLeBlanc: Everyone is just looking for that special someone who could do way better but chooses not to for some inexplicable reason.
@Robert_Fultz: I find it really annoying that eating food doesn't heal wounds like I was led to believe as a kid. Damn Nintendo.
@internetluke: [hears a baby crying on the train] Can somebody put that thing on silence please? "It's a baby.." ... "..." Vibrate?