@bngzyface: You get the public restroom all to yourself if you sing Happy Birthday to your poops.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: When I first started dating my wife she asked me what some of my dreams were. I told her one was about a T-Rex who didn’t get a job because he couldn’t tie a tie. She meant goals
@c12h22o11balls: Her: I love you Me: What’d I do now? Her: Nothing. I just love you Me: OK, what’d you do? Her: Nothing Me: FOR GODSAKE TELL ME WHO DID WHAT
@squirrel74wkgn: *drops off box to Salvation Army* "Sir, why is this box marked W I F E?" *peels out*
@awkwardphilippe: HER: deeper ME: I can't do it captain, the thrusters are already at full power HER: get off me