@_youhadonejob1: You Had One Job!
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@KimmyMonte: A burrito.. in a bowl? Sure that sounds great! And while you're at it, why don't you rip the blankets off me while I sleep, u piece of shit
@MomofTeen: It's been six years since my job interview. I'm beginning to suspect they chose someone else.
@stockejock: When life hands you gators, make Gatorade...just kidding-that means life hates you because the gators would totally kill and eat you 1st.
@redditships: My (32F) husband (36M) wants to start a 'restaurant for magicians', and it is tearing our family apart