I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille.
You have changed my morals completely with your reply, batshit crazy internet stranger
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*stands next to ATM and cheers every time someone wins money*
GIRLFRIEND: I’m breaking up with you
ME: Is it because o-
GIRLFRIEND: Yeah sure whatever let’s go with that
Yoda: Donuts you must fetch from the shop
Me: Ok I’ll try
Yoda: There is no try – either do or donut
cat faces on other animals, a thread
I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.
Text your dad “egg salad sandwich” four times in one day. He’ll probably think his phone is broken.
Word of the day: exhaustipated. Too tired to give a shit.
the most dangerous dog breed is probably the Crime Lab
You literally misuse the word “literally” every time you say it. And I figuratively want to punch you in the face. Literally.