before 2018 ends, I’d like to apologize to the guy who parked too close to me at the Family Dollar. Sorry for leaving that note on your car, I did not mean those things I wrote about your mother
You have to love a boss with a sense of humor. Mine just sent me a 7am meeting notice on Outlook and I’ve never laughed so hard…
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Me after learning something literally 5 min ago:
Everybody else who doesn’t know this thing is an idiot
My husband just said “Do I look stupid to you?” Is this a trick question because it really feels like a trick question.
“GO SPORTS!” -how I cheer for all sports
Good thing some people show their bare chest in their profile pic, otherwise we wouldn’t have known they had a torso.
my thoughts based on your zodiac symbol
JOKER ENDING EXPLAINED! those names were the people who worked on the film
I miss the days before the internet, when you didn’t know some person’s every awful thought until they died and you cleaned out their attic.
That moment when you mom says she was a virgin, but then 3 random dudes show up on your birthday with gifts.
It’s like my nana always used to say: If you really hate him that much, just marry him and then get fat.