@Parkerlawyer: You haven't truly witnessed humanity at its worst until you've visited an all-you-can-eat buffet with crab legs on it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RdrJay47: I'm not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
@Gre_Gone: Jesus: One among you will betray me. John: No way dude. Matthew: No way dude. Judas: *thumbing through designer cross catalogue* Plausible.
@XtinaNovakovic: SCREAMING, just hugged my dentist thinking he was going in for one but really he was just taking off my dental bib. Don't think I can ever recover from this
@TheHyyyype: [first date] HER: I'm really into guys with ambitions ME: *trying to impress her* that's perfect, I have two frogs