@ericacanrant: You know its my phone if it looks like someone fingerpainted the touch screen in donut glaze.
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@mommywhitfield: *Shaking Magic 8 Ball* "Will I ever not feel tired again?" *Magic 8 Ball erupts in hysterical laughter*
@sarcasticmommy4: My husband offered to make me a mimosa & then said, “Oh, sorry, we don’t have orange juice.” Me: “That’s fine. I don’t take orange juice in my mimosa.”
@mirandaasantos: throwback to when the car insurance lady asked my mom for front, rear, & side views but she didn't get the memo..
@abbycohenwl: Cat: Meow Me: Meow Mom: Why do you do that? Me: Silly, huh? Mom: No, reckless! Do you even know what you said? What if you told him he's fat