You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I’m like that, but with salad.

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*steps aside to reveal 12 cats taped together*

Me: it’s a purrrramid!


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The monocle was popular in the 1800’s because ears hadn’t been invented yet.


Need expensive surgery? Tell a surgeon you’re auditioning a few before picking one. Have them do the surgery then say “OK I’ll let you know”


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People who genetically engineer food, why don’t you make celery that tastes like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups? I bet that would shut people up


Old Black men vs. Technology is the most heated rivalry in human history.