Me: Time for bed
Brain: PSST. EVER WONDER IF EARTH’S TECTONIC PLATES WON’T BE ABLE TO SUPPORT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ON EARTH?!
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores?
Same. But I’m in a liquor store.
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I’m smart. Just not remembers how to write a cursive Z, smart.
Me: I’m going to bed after this episode.
Netflix: Hahahahahaha! Sure. Ok.
HER: I totally love Nirvana
ME: Oh yeah? Name one of their albums
ME Okay, forget about it then
Just updated My Facebook status from “Single” to “In a Trinity”. #wayoverdue
We’re living in two Stephen King novels. The Dead Zone and The Stand. If clowns show up I’m done.
I just made way too much pasta, so if you haven’t eaten dinner yet, swing by and watch me eat way too much pasta.
People used to be much smaller. WWII people were a foot shorter. Medieval people were basically hobbits. Jesus was the size of a cat.
[24hr news channel]
news just in..
*director repeats himself into headset*
*justin just sits there*
READ THE NEWS JUSTIN
Him: Come check out my church!
Him: They play rock music!
Him: It’s cool!
Me: Does it have church in it?