@joeljeffrey: You know you're old when you start telling people how much cheaper things used to be.
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@HomeProbably: This strange woman won't stop talking to me so I'm going to stare at her eyebrows until she gets paranoid and leaves me alone.
@squirrel74wkgn: My wife's fish net stockings are so tight that my legs look like wafer cookies when I take them off.
@thedayofthedot: there is nothing wrong with being nice, but there is something wrong with being nice to people.