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@joeljeffrey: You know you're old when you start telling people how much cheaper things used to be.
@iinkedZombie: 5: let's play the quiet game.
5: ready..? Start.
5: whoever talks first is the loser.
@bornmiserable: [me, watching sports] ah yes, go ball
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I did pretty well. I left with four kids, and I came back with four kids.
Wife: The same four kids?
Me: I'll be right back.
@Holy_Mowgli: sister in law asked me to get yellow onion from the store. lady it’s called a lemon
@shariv67: They said I'd have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding my prince. I never found him, but I did find out I'm REALLY into frogs.