you play enough angry birds and you realize: the angry bird is you.
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In honour ouf Canada Day, I’m incourpourating unnecessary ‘u’s intou my wourds.
JOCKEY: “Watch me whip”
HORSE: “Watch me neigh neigh”
Big fight with the husband, apparently there is a correct way to roll up a garden hose.
First they ignore your fanny pack, then they laugh at your fanny pack, then they see you eat gummy bears from your fanny pack, then you win.
“A Bunch of Stuff I Remembered and Then Compiled into a Narratively Cohesive Yet Inconsistently Compelling Tome: A Memoir”
Hey! My husband wanted me to let you guys know he calls me his “wined up” toy.
I never understood movie scenes where they have to train assassins. just drop me in some hot climate, don’t feed me and I’ll kill everyone.
– Reviews for “TicTacToe, The Movie”
“What should we put in the middle of this mall?”
How bout some chairs?
“That idea sucks”
A little pond to throw money in?
“Oh hell yeah”