@TheIronSherk: You really shouldn't label sandwiches, I mean they have a right to exist in a world without labels and judgements just like everyone else.
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@lasergirl70: My mom: "I'm going to wear your father's hearing aids tomorrow." Me: "You should wear them all the time." Her: "What?" Me: "Exactly."
@_little_old_me: I am a wild, sexually-charged woman in my prime. I know exactly what my body needs & just how to get it. *goes to bed at 5pm*
@PleaseBeGneiss: Cop: looks like you’re wearing a seatbelt Me: safety first :) Cop: ok *closes port-a-potty door*
@warne888: When you're at someone's house? Normal people: "What a lovely house!" Me: "What's your wifi password?"