@gemmacorrell If only.
@wittwitbarista You remind me of a nebula. A newborn star Full of energy, color, and completely dense while being unstable.
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@gemmacorrell 
@LoveNLunchmeat Am I joking? Yes. Absolutely.
Do I also mean it? Yes. Absolutely.
@TaleSagaLore Coolest jobs:
1)Beer maker
2)Secretary of War
3)Ninja
4)Guy who pushes scared skydivers
@jctwritesstuff Ah, I see my old arch nemesis, the bottom of the bottle, has arrived.
@Gupton68 Me: Would you tell a friend or co-worker if they have bad breath?
Wife: Of course
M: Even tho it’ll upset them?
W: Yes, must be cruel to be kind
M: *handing over mouthwash* You’ll be needing this, then
W: I despise you
@DanMentos what’s your pitch?
“so this guy steals from the rich…”
ok
“and gives to the poor”
nice. what’s his name?
“Robin…”
haha I love it
“Hood”
wait
@stephaniemain2 Lmao the reply
@briangaar Hi I’m Charlie Brown, the depressed 10-year-old who can’t kick a football. I’d like to talk to you for a second about insurance
@dorsalstream It may just be the parasite talking, but I’m going to climb that super tall building over there and release all my spores.