@Breadery: You say pervert with a telescope. I say biological astronomer.
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@adult_mom: I hate when people ask if my newborn is a "good baby" and I have to tell them that he cries a lot and about how he keeps robbing banks
@LLewright: Guys, my bf broke up w me bc I went to the bars without him last night. Then to be petty he tried to Venmo request me for money I “owed” him but instead he accidentally PAID me. So now I’m single, no longer being controlled, & $22 richer. Life is good
@Gupton68: Him: Would you like to join our club? Me: What kind of club? H: We can’t talk about it. M: What are the rules? H: We can’t talk about it. M: Then why did you ask me to join your club? H: What club?
@junejuly12: Instead of getting annoyed, that stranger should have thanked me for tweezing his unruly ear hair.