“You stand accused of 3 counts of first degree murder.”
“Look, I’m a lot of things–”
“Are you a murderer?”
[bites lower lip]
“Little bit.”

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“Ummm…. Pssssstt!! Dude… What’s a digestion?”

– amateur biotic


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But when my drug dealer says it, it’s kind of annoying


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To the boy who proposed to me in elementary school: can we talk about this once more?


When you and your ex had plans to get married and now you both have each other blocked on everything