@truegritrumble: You when you started twitter vs. you now.
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@TheFearBoners: When one door closes, another opens. Also, you can open the closed door. That's how doors work. How do you know so little about doors?
@ehchino: [First date] So what do you do for a living? "I'm a florist" WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE FLOOR? WHAT HAS IT DONE TO YOU, IS IT BECAUSE IT'S LAVA?
@MattPostSaysHi: Jackie Chan turns 65 today and he’s still able to beat the living shit out of all us with a ladder