Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
“You’ll never get the butt you want by sitting on the one you have.”
You Might Also Like
Pronounces ‘daughter’ like ‘laughter’
I’m extremely good at being so close to getting a prediction right.
I’m like an Almostradamus.
I just took such a long hot shower that when I finished, Captain Planet was standing in my bathroom with arms crossed shaking his head at me
I’m not saying four kids is too many, I’m just saying it would be kind of cool if I could melt them all down to form one kid, that’s all.
I bumped into a VERY handsome man on the tube platform and now we’re on the train together and i can’t wait to steal furtive glances at him until I get to my stop and do absolutely nothing more about it
Schrodinger’s Hater gonna both hate and not hate.
Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer is my favorite song about how to incorrectly deal with the loss of a loved one during the holiday
Me: [doing crossword] 41 band; three letters.
Me: human parts; four letters.
Me: upon a time; four letters.
Me: to pay; four letters.
Me: 90’s slang; three letters.
Me: refer to myself; two letters.
I’m always disappointed when I board a plane and there’s no handsome man running after me to stop me. Thanks, hollywood.