Young Cat: so the trick is to meow loudly whenever I want something

Older Cat: (smoking cigarette and gazing off into the sunrise) kid, the trick is to meow loudly for no reason at all

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“Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?”

~ God, doing whale inventory & coming across an unexpected non-whale after counting three whales.


Looks like I’m finally going to meet my twitter crush, don’t know if I should diet or let him find out the hard way Im good w camera angles


I’m quitting modelling, I need more job security so I’m going to become a princess.


I just raced a Smart car. He barely beat me, but that’s only cuz I stopped to tie my shoe.