If something isn’t fair and square it‘s wrong and oblong
Young Cat: so the trick is to meow loudly whenever I want something
Older Cat: (smoking cigarette and gazing off into the sunrise) kid, the trick is to meow loudly for no reason at all
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Such a stupid sign! Babies can’t read
You know who you are.
“Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?”
~ God, doing whale inventory & coming across an unexpected non-whale after counting three whales.
Looks like I’m finally going to meet my twitter crush, don’t know if I should diet or let him find out the hard way Im good w camera angles
I gave up carbs four minutes ago and seven people are dead.
I’m quitting modelling, I need more job security so I’m going to become a princess.
I think LGBT sounds too much like a sandwich.
I just raced a Smart car. He barely beat me, but that’s only cuz I stopped to tie my shoe.