@behindyourback: Your 30's mostly consist of getting excited when you find out a professional athlete is older than you.
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@JB4Realz: WIFE: What the...? ME: I'm teaching him to play piano. W: You idiot! M *covering chicken's ears*: Not in front of Johann Sebastian Bock-Bock
@lasergirl70: My dating history is like Halloween. People pretending to be someone they're not come looking for handouts, then move on to someone else.
@daemonic3: Pizza Hut: May I take your order? Me: Can you make a large pizza vegetarian? Pizza Hut: Yes, but don't ever call me vegetarian again.