@thesupergrobi
My boyfriend thinks I’m not funny. Whatever, at least I’m a real person.
@shash_____
“Your beard really brings out your jawline” isn’t an appropriate compliment to put in her Valentine’s Day card, apparently!
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@thesupergrobi
@dafloydsta
Benefits of dating me:
1. You’re the smart one
@FredTaming
me: you’re killing it
my murderer: that’s so nice of you to say
@JimmerThatisAll
This day in history. 1888. Police received the “From Hell” letter from Jack the Ripper threatening further monstrous attacks on the English language.
@notalogin
Me: You should know I’m alliterate
Her: You mean illiterate?
Me: No, not necessessfully
@MoneypennyNaked
Married girls are so lucky. They can post anything they want on here because they already tricked some dumb guy into marrying them.
@AsgardianRose
The hardest part of being Darth Vader is never being able to sneak up on anyone because your theme music started playing.
@Scott_A_Gilmore
Marilyn Monroe sure got smart four decades after she died.
@LordVino
LMAOOOOO WHO TWEETED THIS?
@3KidsNoJoke
Biden: I locked him in the bathroom, run!
Obama: Joe! You can’t…Give me the keys! Joe!
Joe: WHEEEE!
#bidenmeme #Election2016
