Ummm yeah I want one of those phone case’s where I can put my credit cards in with my phone so when I lose my phone I’m also broke. Genius!
Your password doesn’t remember you either. He moved on. He’s someone else’s password now.
You Might Also Like
“Dad, how come we use plastic forks and my friends all have silverware?”
– Because they’re poor and have to reuse everything.
If it wasn’t for doing triple jump in high school, I wouldn’t be able to put on jeans.
“DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU’RE IN THE JUNGLE GYM, BABY! AGES THREE TO NIIIIINNNNE!” – Axl Rose, playground monitor.
Mom: You picked up.
Me: I know
Me: You called
M: I wanted to leave a message
Me: Just tell me
M: Hang up
Cyclists who think you’re both a car AND a pedestrian.
God: the quarterly meeting of 2020 will come to order
Satan: under new business please add timing to release 4th horseman of the apocalypse
G: this is the last time I bet with you on the winner of Dancing with the Stars
Attn Christian Parents: the band Kiss may sound innocent but their name is short for KISSING
Not to brag, but I can run pretty fast with a tv in my hands.
watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you’re welcome