@MarieLoerzel

You’re either passionately pro or anti-cilantro, there is no middle ground.

You Might Also Like

@AstroKatie

A good rule of thumb is that if you see a headline saying something “breaks the laws of physics” the headline is wrong

@Shen_the_Bird

sperm bank employee: is he [ear to the wall] is he listening to the full house theme song

@Sassafrantz

And then the Lord said unto thee “any social media site besides Facebook asking for prayers shall go unanswered.”
Matthew 4:23

@ginadivittorio

Everyone on this website is always like, “Eat the rich,” but then Carol Baskin feeds her millionaire husband to a tiger and it’s a problem, hypocrites

@TuffyNyC

Ways To Win My Heart:
1) Be smoking hot
2) Be thin
3) Be a pig
4) Be bacon

@TweetPotato314

Date: do you wanna come up for coffee?

Me: no thanks. I hate stairs

Date: coffee means sex

Me: how many stairs?

@BarebakAssassin

In my 32 years this is what I’ve learned about women:

1.) “No” means no

2.) “Maybe” means no

3.) “Yes” means maybe

@HPJArt

youtube led me to this guy who opens old military ration kits. he just ate a cracker from the civil war. im locked in for this quarantine