@MarieLoerzel: You're either passionately pro or anti-cilantro, there is no middle ground.
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@SteveKoehler22: As the horse fell to the barn floor, he quickly pressed his Life Alert ... "Help...I've fallen and I can't giddyup !"
@myles_morrison: I changed my wifi name to "14.4k dial up connection" so no one would bother stealing my signal.
@YourMomsucksTho: Gather close, children, as i tell a horrific tale of using a separate contraption from your phone called a camera, taking the roll of film out, driving to a photo lab, putting it in an envelope, dropping it in a bin, and then waiting 7-10 days to see pictures unless they lost it.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: PC: You quit improperly. ME: You froze. PC: Next time quit properly. ME: I didn’t quit. PC: You lost your data. ME: YOU lost my data. PC: Would you like to send a report to Microsoft? ME: That you fucked up? PC: That’s not how it’ll read. ME *reboots PC: YOU SHUT DOWN IMPROPERLY.