@MarieLoerzel
@AstroKatie
A good rule of thumb is that if you see a headline saying something “breaks the laws of physics” the headline is wrong
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@AstroKatie
@Shen_the_Bird
sperm bank employee: is he [ear to the wall] is he listening to the full house theme song
@Sassafrantz
And then the Lord said unto thee “any social media site besides Facebook asking for prayers shall go unanswered.”
Matthew 4:23
@ginadivittorio
Everyone on this website is always like, “Eat the rich,” but then Carol Baskin feeds her millionaire husband to a tiger and it’s a problem, hypocrites
@AineAnisa
I grew up for this?
@TuffyNyC
Ways To Win My Heart:
1) Be smoking hot
2) Be thin
3) Be a pig
4) Be bacon
@hyped_resonance
@TweetPotato314
Date: do you wanna come up for coffee?
Me: no thanks. I hate stairs
Date: coffee means sex
Me: how many stairs?
@BarebakAssassin
In my 32 years this is what I’ve learned about women:
1.) “No” means no
2.) “Maybe” means no
3.) “Yes” means maybe
@HPJArt
youtube led me to this guy who opens old military ration kits. he just ate a cracker from the civil war. im locked in for this quarantine