Migraine: Yes I am.

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im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason


if she doesn’t reciprocate ur first “i love u”, press ur finger to ur strategically placed bluetooth & say “oh cool u love me too? nice”


“Sooo sorry I fell asleep during your wedding. It was rude but your vows were like SO long. Anyway, you may now kiss the bride”


Fact – If you add “ish” to your time, like 9:00ish, you’re never late for anything


Dog people always act like dogs are so much better than cats but as a cat person just wanna say that you never see cats working with the cops


A teacher is always just one loud fart away from losing control of a classroom.