@spitfirehussy: You've been found guilty of murder in the 1st degree. Your sentence is 20 years of being trapped in a FB group message about a baby shower.
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@DaddyBeerGuy: Wife-CAN YOU CLEAN UP? Me-*Quietly mutters- I don't work for you! 3-*runs out of room yelling- DADDY SAYS HE DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU!
@MrYeager2: Wife: hey take me out tonight. Me: can it wait till tomorrow? Wife: why? Me: because tonight's not garbage night, tomorrow is
@funflaps: [sequel to Thor Ragnarok] ME: *buying tickets for me and 3 friends* Four for Thor 4 at 4:44, por favor CINEMA GUY: *for the 6th time this week* Please stop doing this