if u hurt ur leg u can use the frozen veggies at whole foods as ice packs 4 free. hold on im getting an update from the manager. no u cannot
YUCKING OTHER PEOPLE’S YUM IS VERY UNBECOMING
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Egg drop soup
Egg bad waiter
Egg fired again
Egg turn to life of crime
[reading my journal] me: damn what a psycho
Why is it that when your dog brings you things he’s killed it’s cute, but when I do it we have to get the police involved?
Her: I like risk takers
Me:[goes to the McDonalds Drive Thru and places a complicated order. Grabs the bag and drives off w/o checking it]
Me: Walks in with an exact copy of my husband.
Him: I said cologne.
I had no idea she was allergic to rat poison your honor
Darth: You should not have come back, old man.
Obi Wan: I DIDN’T. I was going to Alderaan. You caught our ship with a tractor beam. Idiot.
Apparently asking the boss ” who ignited the fuse on your tampon?” will get you sent to HR.
Boss : Why Are You Late?
She : Heavy Traffic
Boss : Is that my fault?
She : Did I Blame You