I will always try to sound smarter & make up words when talking to my doctor, like “pain in the crotchal area” or “difficulty extendilating my arms.”
[zombie movie set]
Director into megaphone: “We’re about to start rolling. Look alive people!”
*actors look around confused as heck*
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Got to my dad’s house and he was showing me all the food he has for me to snack on and he goes “and I have a guacamole ball” what’s a guacamole ball you ask? well I will tell you. an avocado. He has an avocado.
This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize I’m not out of his league.
People who knock on my front door really need to give up these unrealistic expectations that I’m going to answer
INTERVIEWER: According to your resume, you like to “move it move it.”
ME: That’s correct.
I: It goes on like for… 30 pages.
Google won’t replace librarians. The internet is like giving someone a fire hose when all they asked for was a glass of water.
Managing your weight around the holidays just requires a little planning..
For example, I took the batteries out of my scale on Wednesday.
What do we want?
When do we want them?
A smart woman knows when to give up and walk away
A southern woman has a shotgun and a shovel named give up and walk away
Are your clothes meant to scream out “help” when you squeeze yourself into them?