@briangaar: Zooey Deschanel always looks like she's been shown a card trick
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@sixfootcandy: Him: There's something special about you. Me: Some people tell me I smell like stinky cheese. *His eyes glaze over* I love stinky cheese.
@3sunzzz: 20s: Sure, I'll take the floor. 30s: The floor? No. But I'll sleep on the couch. 40s: What thread count are your sheets?
@wickedsuga: DON'T TOUCH ME! AND YOU'RE BREATHING WRONG! STOP IT! -wives, on their period Or if they're hungry. Or if you are actually breathing wrong.