Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@Darlainky: My husband says it’s not my chin hairs that embarrass him, it’s how I’m constantly trying to yank them out in public.
@ThatBrenna: Him: What the hell is a palindrome?
Me: No, it's not.
@BoomBoomBetty: I just drank an entire bottle of wine and feel the urge to help someone with math homework and declare that laundry piles are now furniture.
@Julian_Epp: Cats (2019)
@PFitzpa: I watched someone eat an unpeeled cucumber like an apple today. No, no, it's even weirder than you imagine.
@Burnam1: My grandmother's secret ingredient?
@YuckyTom: the wok is the most versatile of all the kitchen tools. i make everything in there. everything. plz test me. spaghetti? that’s waghetti now. tacos? u mean wok-o’s baby. u want some muffins, dude? flip that “m” upside-down my guy cuz we eat wuffins in this house
@junejuly12: The new neighbour told me she’s a hugger, so now I’m only going outside if I have a weed whacker clutched to my chest.
@UncleDuke1969: Grind me like corn, so I know it's meal.
@BrandonMH1: Not really a humane solution in my opinion
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