guy who ruins jokes: what are you cooking
guy who ruins jokes: oh i love that
While the Americans are in a food coma, we should switch Twitter and Facebook displays around. Give their hearts a jumpstart.
I forgot the word “turkey”so I asked the butcher for 20 pounds of oversized angry bird gobble gobble meat.
My weightloss journey will be before pictures only.
The Turkey took our temperature before he would come out of the oven!!!
*visits random websites just for the cookies*
Welcome back to another episode of Did I Close the Ziplock Bag Properly?
My mother-in-law showed up 3 hours early for Thanksgiving.
-my suicide note
one taught me love
one taught me patience
and one taught me pain
Obi Wan: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Luke: Obviously you haven’t been to Black Friday at Walmart.