@Ant_F3ltz

Why are the boxes of Apple products made better than their cords?…

@MasterOfFury

It’s finally mandatory for people to stay 6 feet away from me.

@_little_old_me

According to my email junk folder, I am a very successful Bitcoin trader.

@BipolarBearDick

I think illegal drugs are just the government trying to teach the metric system on the sly.

@jollyrobber

Nobody:

Absolutely no one:

No one on the face of the planet:

Every business I’ve ever traded with since 1981: Let me tell you what we’re doing and/or not doing about Covid-19

@chairkeyre

An exclamation point is just a lowercase L on its period