@AndyJokedAgain

guy who ruins jokes: what are you cooking

chef: updog

guy who ruins jokes: oh i love that

@Shwetangles

While the Americans are in a food coma, we should switch Twitter and Facebook displays around. Give their hearts a jumpstart.

@Lisabug74

I forgot the word “turkey”so I asked the butcher for 20 pounds of oversized angry bird gobble gobble meat.

@JPLFR80

My weightloss journey will be before pictures only.

@curlymalloy

The Turkey took our temperature before he would come out of the oven!!!

@chrisdowning

Welcome back to another episode of Did I Close the Ziplock Bag Properly?

@OMGSoOverIt

My mother-in-law showed up 3 hours early for Thanksgiving.

-my suicide note

@TheAlexNevil

Obi Wan: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Luke: Obviously you haven’t been to Black Friday at Walmart.