guy who ruins jokes: what are you cooking

chef: updog

guy who ruins jokes: oh i love that


While the Americans are in a food coma, we should switch Twitter and Facebook displays around. Give their hearts a jumpstart.


I forgot the word “turkey”so I asked the butcher for 20 pounds of oversized angry bird gobble gobble meat.


My weightloss journey will be before pictures only.


The Turkey took our temperature before he would come out of the oven!!!


Welcome back to another episode of Did I Close the Ziplock Bag Properly?


My mother-in-law showed up 3 hours early for Thanksgiving.

-my suicide note


Obi Wan: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Luke: Obviously you haven’t been to Black Friday at Walmart.