@iYoungKhalifa: 1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2...!!
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@Laddy42: I asked my wife if we could get a hot young nanny. Of course she got mad and said "No!". For one thing, we don't have any kids...
@KKAlThani: If you set someone free, love them. Wait I mean, if you love someone for free, set them. That doesn't make sense. Forget it.
@JohnLyonTweets: *walks into alma mater carrying English degree* I'd like a refund, please. This did not work as promised.
@ActingAnEejit: It's illegal to tie your children to things but you can basically do the same by buying them a phone with a short charger and a bad battery.