@ericsshadow: 1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have 'lady problems' then start crying. It works even better for guys.
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@decentbirthday: Evil villain: You can run but you can't hide! Me: That's where you're wrong pal. *out of breath* I can't do either
@mimicz: Guy: I don't deserve you. Girl: Awwwww...you're so sweet... Guy: I don't mean that in a good way.
@TheTweetOfGod: On one hand, eating meat is bad for your body, bad for animals and bad for the earth. On the other hand, bacon.
@o__0Dev: On average, a person has sex 86 times a year. Apparently, this is going to be one hell of a week.