@GSElevator: #1: Too many people still answer the phone like they don't know who's calling.
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@KevinFarzad: "Is it long enough to reach most people's beds?" "Yes." "Perfect, make it a couple inches shorter." -Apple, creating the iPhone charger.
@AdamOfEarth: Roses are flowers, violets are flowers, I'd love you more if you had super powers.
@SortaBad: My neighbors hurt some bystanders by illegally setting off fireworks. If only there had been a good guy with fireworks around to stop them
@iscoff: TEACHER: please take off your hat in class *I take off my hat revealing a slightly smaller hat* ME: I can do this 14 more times