@maxlavergne: 100% per cent of survey respondents said: help us get out of this tall tree. we didn't know this survey involved being stuck in a tree
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Guys, stop comparing Trump to Hitler. He thinks it's a compliment. Call him a middle-aged woman or a peaceful Muslim.
@Staggfilms: [waxing salon] ME: I need to make a waxing appointment. ASSOCIATE: You want a Brazilian? ME: No, I don’t need that many.
@wife3kidsnodogs: Wife: I'm hungry! Me: I'll order pizza Wife: YOU THINK I'M FAT! Me: *whispering* Has it been 28 days already? Wife: WHAT?! Me: what what??