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@bridger_w: Every time I think I've parallel parked in a space the size of a shoebox, I get out and find it's the length of two football fields
@Floatersfinest: I think the government looks at Twitter and thinks 'This is WAY cheaper than Asylums'
@shutupmikeginn: 'Pampers' is a good product name because it implies being able to poop in your disposable underwear is a great luxury
@therealeatwood: “I have a dream that one day little black children will work together with little white children, to destroy Superman.” — Martin Luthor King