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@NewDadNotes: God: you can climb trees, go on land and swim in water. Snake: OMG, really? God: pretty cool right! Snake: you didn’t have to do all this! God: it was nothing Snake: so how fast can I run? God: Snake: I bet I can run really fast! God: Snake: so fast on my legs!
@hoedeehoe: Jesus: and when there was but 1 set of footprints, there I carried u Me: (checks fitbit) ok, phew, it counted the steps, I still got credit
@Chumpstring: me: hit that tree with your fist hitman: that’s not what i do me: hundred bucks hitman: no me: will you punch a house
@SuadShamma: "The sum of the cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrot divided by the mayo. That is Cole's Law."